Lair of Flying Green Song Rabbits

Also known as really adorable things and ways to procrastinate and laugh your head off. Courtesy of MyLifeisAverage.

While I am still young and immature...

Today, I woke up after spending the night at my girlfriends house for the first time and went downstairs to find her. Not only did we stay up until 3 in the morning playing Monopoly in a blanket tent that covered her whole bedroom, I found her in the kitchen making me green, chocolate chip, dinosaur shaped pancakes. Luckiest man alive? I think so. MLIA

Today, I had to bring in a creepy porcelain doll for a school drama project. At lunch, me and my friends hid around a corner and made the doll peer around whenever anyone came along the hallway. We got a dozen girly screams and one kid fainted. I go to an all boys school. MLIA

Today my brother told me he leaves the house with two wallets, his real wallet and a decoy wallet with old empty gift cards, so that if he ever gets held up, he can just give the guy the empty one. My brother is 14 and just bloody brilliant. MLIA

Today, My boyfriend and I were talking about costumes for halloween. He suggested he could dress up as a dragon and I as a princess. And he would keep me captive. We settled on me being the dragon and him being the princess. MLIA

Today I decided to mess with the operators of a text question answering service. I texted, "Where can I hide the bodies?" They texted back, "Find the closest river, wait until nightfall." MLIA

Today, I just remembered how during my freshman year, me and and my friend were successfully able to convince his girlfriend that me with glasses and me without glasses were completely different people. One day, I walked by her without glasses and said hi and she said "Hi, Joe!" I walked around the building, put a new shirt and glasses on and walked by her again and she said, "Hey Blake!" and asked me where I was going. I told her that I was looking for Joe. She proceeded to point me in the direction I had just came from, and that I had just missed him. MLIA.

Today, my friend changed her name in my phone to Luna Lovegood. When I was at Target she called me and my harry potter ringtone went off. A little girl next to me saw the name and said is it really her? I said yes. MLIA



When I am out of university...

Today I attended a party for three of my friends (turning 23, 24, and 26.) The party concluded not with drinking or clubbing, but rather with a massive, 3 hour game of hide-and-seek. It was the most fun I've had in months. MLIA

Today I was sitting at a red light and a car pulled up next to me. Their music was up really loud and kind of getting on my nerves. As I sat there listening, I realized it was 'The Imperial March.' I looked over to see Darth Vader staring me down from the passenger seat. We stared at each other, I in awe, for about 20 seconds until the light changed. The car sped away as Darth held a red lightsaber out the window. I must find these people. MLIA.

Today my room mate was gone for today. I decided to look in his bottom drawer which he has always been very secretive about. I found a single issue of a dirt magazine covering a drawer full of nerf guns. At the very bottom was a note demanding a nerf war with anyone who opened this drawer. I'm preparing a full scale attack. MLIA

A few days ago, I had my appendix removed. When I woke up from the surgery, I kept my eyes closed until the nurse came into the room. When she did, I yelled "BOO!" She then proceeded to have the most epic fake heart attack I have ever seen in my whole life. Touche nurse, touche. MLIA.



Being a cool mum with cool kids...

Today, my dad set up a wildlife camera to capture the deer that come to our apple trees. As he slept, my mom, sister and I dressed up (respectively) as a dinosaur with a neon green mohawk, the cat in the hat, and a leopard wearing it's spots as a toga. We stalked around our backyard for twenty minutes posing as the -alternative- wildlife my dad has being waiting to see, he's in for a surprise. MLIA

Today, my 6 year-old daughter was asking me questions about Santa Claus at dinner. My 13 year-old daughter was getting annoyed with all the dumb questions and simply told her younger sister that Santa didn't exist. Instead of being aghast and upset, my younger daughter just said, "Yea but neither does Edward Cullen!" My older daughter left the dinner table and I think its easy to say who won tonight.

Today I was sitting outside of Starbucks. A teenage girl walked by wearing a T-shirt reading "Bite Me. (Vampires Only)." I then see a nine-year-old girl walk up to this teenager, bite her arm, and say "Harry Potter pwns," and then walk away. Her mother then told her, "Good job, sweetie." MLIA

Today, I asked my teacher when we were getting our Biology tests back because I was really anxious to see what I got. She proceeded to tell me It won't be for a while because her and her husband are in an intense Mario kart competition and she doesn't have time. I can deal with that. MLIA.

Today, I had to drive my little brother to school since he missed the bus. On his excuse slip, instead of a normal excuse, I wrote, "Please excuse Ethan's tardiness. He was busy fighting dragons. You'll be pleased to know he was victorious." They not only accepted this excuse, but they completely dismissed his tardy punishment. MLIA

Today when I logged into facebook, I was excited to see that I had 20 new pictures tagged of me. Turns out they were all pictures of me my dad had photoshopped. Now anyone visiting my facebook page can see that I have wresseled bears, hunted in Africa, climbed mount everest, been to Narnia, and fought in the civil war. MLIA

Today, my school celebrates Halloween dress-up early. I came to school dressed up as Pikachu. Half-way through English class, something hit me really hard in the back in the head. I looked down to see what it was. It was a miniature pokeball. I looked around to see who had thrown it. It was my professor, he was dressed as Ash Ketchum. MLIA


Being a cool granny...

Today I was helping an elderly man pick out a new laptop at the electronics store that I work at. When I asked what he would primarily use it for, he answered "to watch kung fu in HD and play WOW." He restored my faith in senior citizens. MLIA

Today I learned that my grandma used to beat up boys 5 years older than her in grade school with her metal lunch box. I always wondered why Grandpa never argues back. MLIA

Today my grandpa held out his fist for a fist bump, when I went to fist bump him he yelled "JELLYFISH!" and pulled his hand away in jellyfish fashion. I love him. MLIA

Today was my birthday. My grandma gave me a book called "The Zombie Survival Guide", complete with a toy gun, plastic axe and plastic sword, a flashlight shaped like a hippo, and an emergency chocolate bar. I always knew she was the cool relative. MLIA

My grandparents were in town this past week when the awkward subject of teen pregnancy/abortion came up. The table fell silent, then my 92 year old Great Grandmother stuck out her hands and said: "AWKWARD TURTLE!" I suddenly have a new respect for old people. MLIA.



I wish I had such a great sense of humour and quick wit.