Lair of Flying Green Song Rabbits

So....

My birthday was over a week ago but it's taken me this long to acknowledge (not quite) that I am a year older.

The following will contain too many yet not enough photos of last Thursday and too many words. Read when in need of procrastination material!



Some photos of people in attendance:







Yum yums lots of food all over the table. I sat in middle ish with most of the boys on my right eating hot pot and the girls/some late arrivers on my left ordering various dishes.

Me, Simon, S and her brother sat eating Korean bbq.

After it was icecream time!

Marweechi and namweechi left without telling me cuz I walked too far ahead and they had to go =(.

Vvn and ray left after entering the ice cream place for a while.


Picture before vvn leaves.


Minglez.


The boy's icecream table. I got a pic of shu!


Shu notices camera lol.


Opening presents: scarf that Josh gave me =) It's nice and warm and I wore it the other day.


Happy birthday bear from Jeff. Very cute =)


Um present from steven (simon?), shu and I think one other person... A bunch of puzzles....


Another puzzle.... (minglez had the choice of what to buy)


Opening this cool Parker pen which somehow has magical (gravity?) powers. It can tell what colour you want.... amazing... from Jie and minglez


Sorbet icecream!


Josh pointing to some icecream picture to take....


The guy's massive rainbow icecream.... MASSIVE


End blob of it... Some of the flavours were surprising.... and really gross....


Girls eating icecream =)


My eyebrows are too thin and short >.>


Jie putting 20 on the tiny cake minglez bought.


S laughing at something XD


and some other form of expression.


Minglez showing everyone her big boobs and Jie staring!!!
Josh: I can't look away!!! (at the photo)


Upset that I turn 20 so 2 sounds better lol.


Happy happy!


Yays!!

I'm so glad so many people showed up for me. I felt so loved that day =)

Turning any age always scared me cuz as a pre-teen my biggest fear was death. I was so horrified and couldn't accept the concept of not existing anymore when I die, that every year I turn older all I can think about is how many years until the next major event of my life.

The next major event seems to be getting married on my chart. Evidence being my mum telling me if I date someone I gotta show her cuz she's a good judge of character and that when she was my age +1 my mum was married and at my age +2 she was pregnant with me or something along those scary lines that I prefer to forget....

A part of me has that dream of a perfect wedding married to someone I've dated for years yet when it all comes down to it I do wanna marry before 30 (before my parents have a heart attack and try to sell me away wtf) yet I just turned 20 and am no where near ready for a long term relationship!!!

The past year of my life has been so full of ups and downs. I remember at one point thinking the 18th and 19th year after my birth were my happiest yet.

The year I turned 19....
I went back to China and learnt a lot more about my family and had a greater appreciation to them. I realised my grandma was getting more and more frail and that I should cherish her more. I discovered remedies for my monolid lol.

I went on my first 'real' holiday to Beijing and understood the meaning of freezing and crap hotel food.

First semester uni I finally got my first insight into nutrition studies and the shittiness that is pharmaoclogy and renewed my hatred for MBLG.

What the hell I did in my semester break I can't really remember just that I spent a lot of time working and going out.

In fact I spent a lot of time with my ex-bf. For a significant portion of my 19th year I spent it with him. I don't think that by breaking up I can suddenly deny that I had some bloody good times.

He introduced me to so many new things out there and we shared some great experiences eating out and having fun together. And as meeting many other friends became more and more difficult with distance, work commitments, uni etc my life seemed to slowly revolve around him.

It was inevitably somewhere along the line that we would part, just merely the point of putting a date on the matter. I am glad though cuz I realised maybe I am not ready to commit fully to anyone. Perhaps I had deluded myself into thinking that with the increasing length of relationship, but he was not the one. I am happy now, meeting people completely different from him and being in a sort of limbo.

Finding out that I had impaired glucose tolerance (IGT) rocked my world. I was alone to deal with it myself as my parents like every other Asian never talks about issues and most other friends were busy. I had freshly been dumped and feeling alone with no one to talk to (sucks).

Eventually I took the route of telling anyone who I ate lunch with thinking if I said it aloud enough times it'll sink it. But I just got tired. Telling everyone and watching their reaction didn't fill in that void of confusion, going against it did not either and neither did looks of pity and consolation. Nothing seemed to offer the comfort I thought it would. In the end I guess.... well there is no end to it.

Getting my 1st real job as a tutor was definitely a defining moment. It was the first job I found all by myself, obtained all by myself and was paid by someone I didn't know or was related to. God i was so nervous on my first day but now i have relaxed into the role. I have such wonderful students but also met a few hard to deal ones. I don't think teaching is the job for me afterall (bloody annoying kids). But it gave me such rewards when I felt the students liked me, understood what I taught or said the cutest things to me.

My mum says I am more mature now than when I left high school. I think I'm just seeing more grey areas in life where once I thought I was so committed to a certain opinion. Along with that though is a reversal in some areas that were more grey having turned more black and white. Sometimes I find myself being more discriminatory and judgmental than I normally would have before and it scares me a little.

This is the first year where I'm afraid I wont make it studies wise to the next year and to honours. I have always set the bar above average but right now being so lost in a major subject I will be doing next year does not sit well in me. The difficulty of nutrition now and the competitiveness of the students scare me into thinking 'what if I don't get a credit average?' I have always assumed I will have enough motivation to make it all the way through so I've never had a back up plan... what if I don't make it and end up doing a bachelor of science... what am I gonna do then??? Shit. Esp since my neurophysiology lecturer said your brain's hardwired and won't change much after 20. Is screwed.

I'm at a point now where I want to meet more interesting people, date casually, find work experience, study harder, connect more with family and shop more lol.

I hope my 20th is filled with more ups than downs and with plenty more years to come.

I want to thank everyone who's made the 19th year of my life so memorable and filled with joy and a special thanks especially to those who showed up on Thursday night. I had such fun finally able to catch up with so many of you at once!!

Muahaha now for the rest of you young 19ers!