Lair of Flying Green Song Rabbits

There is a terrible rant unbecoming of a young lady like B under the cut.

Click at thy own risk.



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.........

I'm speechless. I can't even gather my damned thoughts.

Okay, first. I'm a girl who's lived almost 20 years. You have only occupied a few short and unimportant months of it.
Why the hell do you think you're important to me in any way?
You weren't the ones who raised me, fed me, clothed me, or gave me a home. You weren't there to give me warmth when it was cold, nor were you taking care of me when I was sick. You didn't pay for my education, you didn't accompany me on vacations, you didn't teach me any life lessons.

No, my family did.

Therefore, my family are more important than you.

Family >>>>>>>>>>>>>> You

It is that simple.

So why am I letting you guys defile our sacred space called 'home'?

I have no fucking clue.

Yes, B loves her family. You guys (yes, you grongbit readers, you know who you are <3) might not be under that impression, but she does. Of course she would never confess that to their faces, but...

In my group, there are four members. Let's name them.

There's B, that's me. You all know me.

Then there's A, S, and K.
(It angers me that Life+Death's main code is AKSK)

A - A fobby, patriotic (I think this applies to them all though) Taiwanese (yes, all Taiwanese people) girl. A major otaku who doesn't mind being teased by others. To be honest, I think her supposed permanently cheery disposition is just an act.

S - A down-to-earth girl who hates anime and Japanese culture - except Pokemon. She's intelligent and hard-working, but is slow with ideas, and indecisive. She's also picky and defiant.

K - A useless male fob. I don't even know him.

Idea stage:

This is where we plan everything. Usually, a group would get together and discuss what they want, and what they don't want, and we eventually come towards a clear idea. This part went OK. We eventually decided on a story idea and its details. We went off topic a few times, but generally it was OK.

Then we needed to do the details. Like filming location, props, and actors. I already confirmed that I couldn't get hold of children, but I was bugged about it anyway.
Then I did the stupidest thing ever. I offered my home to be a filming location.

So they decided to scout my home as a filming location. Usually friends coming over is fun right?

Day 1:

I got up early and did some preparing. At 9:40am, I made to head out of the house to pick them up from Yagoona station, but I found it was raining. Mum suggested that I get driven instead. So F (My sister~) drove me to the station, whilst I decided to bitch happily to her about the horrible group I was stuck with.
We reached the station, and I left F to take care of the car.
I waited at the station for a few minutes, perfectly on time (10am), expecting them to be on the next train. The next trains arrive at least 15 minutes later, and I was slightly ticked that they were late. Not too much though, after all, it was only 15 minutes.
At around 10:10, I got a phone call. I picked it up immediately, looking around for a train.
"Hi, we'll be there in 15 minutes, be there at Yagoona station."
The meeting time was 10. Not 10:30.
"I'm already there."
"Oh, well, stay there."
I paced the station for 5 minutes, and then I went back to the car, where F was getting pissed and ready to leave. I informed her about the call, and she complained about wasting precious time she could be spending on some very busy university work. Yeah, I could've been working as well.
They finally arrived, and I attempted to greet them cheerfully and lead them to the car.
Instead, I lectured them about wasting my entire family's time. I spoke the truth for my family's sake.
They showed zero remorse.

Fuck them.

At my house, my family tried to be hospitable, but they just ran around trying to do 'work', and ignoring my parents. We served drinks, and ordered pizza. I really wanted to act like a nice friend, but I couldn't.
We kept fucking arguing about useless shit. Pointless, off-topic, meaningless, time-wasting discussions.
And STFU didn't work either.
Stop ignoring me bitches, I'm the fucking host.

I just couldn't help acting about as frustrated and angry as I felt. I yelled at them, F even perked up and asked if I was losing my temper. Yes, I am losing my temper dammit.

After they left, mum asked me if I hated my 'friends'.
F: Lol~ Wasn't it like, completely obvious? xD Like duuuuh.

I really don't want to come off as this kind of person in front of my family. But yeah, I stayed silent, and answered a few of mum's questions grudgingly.
They were my group members, I had to work with them.

Day 2:

I woke up early, after having desecrated my room for filming the previous night. Now I had to find and buy the stupid diary for the film.
I asked if my parents could drive me to a newsagency in order to buy it, and I was obviously lectured on how unprepared I was. Well, yes, that's a good question. Why didn't we discuss who was getting which props instead of arguing over possible camera angles?
But whatever, I stomached it and tried my best to search for the goddammed diary. Well, I hope they realised that an 80s diary would be sorta hard to find in the 21st Century.
I could only find a notebook that looked relatively fancy, but obviously modern. And it was too big to fit in the treasure chest, of course, since everything has to go wrong.
For once, the group arrived on time, but of course in my rush to head out of the house, I had left my phone. Mum said I had 6 missed calls.
Oh well, they could wait a minute.
I found them, crossed the road, talked, said hi.
I kept my regular cheery disposition and we got to work. In order to film, I had to kick my family out of the house, and though I felt guilty in the back of my mind, I couldn't do anything.
The filming process was stupid. Since they wanted me to find an actor, I found a young child - my younger cousin. I had warned them that she was horrible and uncontrollable, but since we're desperate, it's OK right?
Fine, but I warned you.
Kat (the cousin) arrived at 1pm, and was good for 2 hours or so.
Then it was hell.
"I'm bored! I don't want to do this anymore!"
Needless to say, the young demon was grating on everyone's patience and temper. Along with the rapidly fading sunlight that drained away with time that ticked by much too fast.
I knew Kat a bit, so I tried to coax her into acting, but I knew that I was running short on tricks quickly, and I informed them of this.
We also had to pick up S's brother from the train station.
Apparently K had a full license, so my parents had left the old car and its keys. I was dubious about letting a stranger drive our car, but I sat in the passenger seat and told him the way anyway.
Fucking shittiest driver I've ever seen.
I mean, I know I'm a horrible driver, but even I don't bump the back of our car when parking straight on. I can also do a 3 point turn using three moves, not four. And I don't turn the steering wheel whilst the car is stationary in order to keep the condition of the car tyres. And if I had to do that, I wouldn't make such crappy turns where the car swerves violently from side to side.
Scariest 5 minutes I've ever had in a car.
I tried to lighten the mood by jokingly telling him that he sucked at roundabouts, and his response was: "What? You're so good? You want to drive?"
To be honest, yes. I believe even I'm better at driving than you are. And if not, I defiantly would be safer by being more careful when driving.
But fuck, don't scratch my parents' car!

I'm not a good daughter, I know this. I'm sorry mum and dad, but this is who I am. I'm sorry for being cold, and for my aloofness. Maybe one day I would be able to find the courage to tell you things the way I really feel about them.
Sometimes I hurt you, but that's the selfish way I act.
At least you understand who I truly am, and not the restrictive mask I wear to uni.
And for me, this is my greatest display of respect.

Day 3:

I got up and put on a stupidly happy attitude. Being angry doesn't help anyone, and especially not me.
I got a txt saying that they'd be at least 30 minutes late due to a missed train. This I was fine with, I didn't want to start filming this shit myself.
Half an hour later, I rolled around, rather bored, wondering if they got lost. I decided that they were probably just slow walkers, so I started setting up the things myself.

After I was done, I decided to phone them and check up on how lost they were. Apparently they were 'fine', and on their way.
Ah, good.
I decided that they'd probably arrive within 15 minutes.
I paced the house, wondering when they were going to arrive. Eventually I got tired of expecting them, and went about my own business.
An entire hour later, I was sure that they were lost.
So I went back to my phone and called them again.
"Are you sure you're not lost?"
"We're fine, we're just looking for your house now."

Okay, fine, be that way.
A short while later, I spied them through the front window, and opened the door for them. I greeted them nicely as they filed in dejectedly, glaring around like a bunch of prisoners.
I heard A mumble 'We were so lost...'. Well, yes, you were either lost or you had missed 3 trains instead of one.
This I informed them, and apparently no one appreciated my cutting sense of humour.

They started filming the 'outside scene' first, and I informed all that this was against the rough sequence I had personally planned, but they ignored me.
As I stood outside, I also chose to inform them of the more shit that I'd have to do if they were filming outside first.
This time, they stated that they didn't care.
Alright, fine.
Work me harder, I don't care either.
A takes care of camera work, S is the director, K takes care of lighting.

B takes care of sulking in the corner.

I'd help with camerawork, but I suck, we all know this. I know nothing about lighting, and if I try to interfere with ideas, I just make everyone angry.
Well, it'd be nice if someone listened to me once in a while.

I hate it when I'm right, but no one's listening.

I say that a lot to F. I never thought I'd ever say it to others.
Filming went on, I either watched, or went about my own business. The fail!guests didn't even greet my parents or acknowledge their existence except when they were in the way of filming.
I wanted to kick them out. Honestly.
They had no right to be here at my home, no right at all.
They were only allowed inside because my family respected me and the people I associated with. Without my permission, they would be nowhere.
Appreciate it, dammit!
I can kick you out any time. I don't have to do this. I love my parents more than my marks, OK?

People who know me know that I do think about things in a straightforward way. That I make logical conclusions that are well thought out, and generally successful. They listen to me, but they're also weary, because they know that I'm a klutz who tends to make silly mistakes.
People who know me know that I act cold most, if not all of the time, and my sense of humour is wry and insulting. But my intentions aren't bad at all.
People who know me know that I smile and laugh as much as everyone else when around friends I love.
I can be complicated and difficult, but it's not hard to rub me the right way.
You should know I love attention, that I'm arrogant and proud of it (?! wtf xD). That my affection is commonly shown in the form of insults.

I just can't mix with these people. Everything they do ticks me off. And worse of all, they're angering my family. I get the brunt of this at night after they leave.
Do they know this? Do they understand that I have to put up with crap after they've long left the issue behind them?
I do know that they don't realise one thing though.

They don't know that I don't mind taking crap from my family. But I do very much indeed mind taking their fucking shit.



Geez, I haven't honestly felt like breaking down and crying for someone else's sake like this for a long time.