Lair of Flying Green Song Rabbits

So yesterday was a horrible horrible day for me. Today my net decided to be really really slow and miraculously decide not to load my notes/webct. Now I can't do any work so I decided to come here. Damn it is empty. I've been really busy lately so haven't had time to take photos/post anything.

Yesterday I had an exceptionally bad day. It went as follows cuz I need to vent.

In the morning I woke up to my sister telling me the whole family minus me was going to the maritime museum. So there I was alone at home. I realise there's a MASSIVE pile of clothes on the clothes stand and table and decide to do the laundry. End up leaving it to soak for too long and my light green shirt I might add stained my white singlet slightly. Grrr. Oh and then I got my period (just had to add that to make it worse) Grr.

I had driving lessons in the afternoon and for some reason my instructor was saying I was doing badly that day. Grrr. Infact so badly that he started saying do I need my glasses rechecked? Is it something to do with the date that I can't do well. Is there some Chinese superstition surrounding the date ( I took offense to this and found it racist for some reason =\) I don't know if he was having a bad day or joking or I was driving EXTREMELY poorly but I don't think he was being very nice about it.

At one point he made me get out of the car and drive and show me how it's done over and over again and every time he asked me: do you get it now? and I said "yes" he'll say "i don't think so cuz you'll probably make the same mistake again. I don't even think you're looking with your eyes while you're driving." I felt degraded again and again and I have this eye contact fear when people tell me off which never happens outside family so I felt really awkward. Anyway it was something about turning and following the curb except he'd never said this before. So when I got to the curb he didn't tell me how much to turn the wheel nothing so obviously I screwed up again. and when people keep telling me off I get really nervous so I made more and more random mistakes and he kept telling me off and I was really scared and frustrated because he kept assuming I knew things he'd never taught me. He told me to do a 3 point turn and never told me before how to do it T_T

I drove to the next customer's house and he wasn't there. The guy wasn't there... so my instructor let me drive back to my house. Halfway there the guy calls and goes he's come home and whether he will give a lesson so I had to turn back and let me drive me home. This meant I was home late by 1hr and still pretty shaken up about it. I hate being told of by strangers... I always felt terrified if a teacher ever told me off cuz it was so rare... Pizza Hut I was terrified of being told off by the manager...


Now usyd being a very, what it'll like to call "comprehensive" uni, has shoved us with a bunch of group work. Now I don't know if you guys remember doing those science reports back at high school but you can not possibly o something like that between 4-6 people!!! It's just a bad idea! Nevertheless I was in a group of 4. Now my group work saga did not just occur today but expanded through the week (PMS T_T) accumulating into mass agitation. It made less sense that we did the experiment in pairs but did the report in 4s and all of us from different pairs. I'm gonna name my group people A, B and C.

No one had replied within in the first few days of doing the experiment so I decided I needed to take some initiative and had everyone decide which part of the group work they wanted to do. Fob guy A decided to take intro and this girl B, took results while me and C were left with discussion which we shared the question numbers. I set a deadline of Friday night to finish the work and LATEST weekends but weekends were the time we were suppose to do the put together.

Friday came. No one sent in their part except me.

Saturday came one girl (B) sent in the results with an accompanying "oh btw I didn't have the results for part B of the experiment." I spent an hour typing up several tables of results.
WHY HADN'T SHE TOLD ME SOONER THAT SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE RESULTS??

She kept going on about how she got a new mac or something and didn't even have excel and did her stuff on some data pad so her graphs weren't even compatible with my excel...
WHY DID SHE PICK TO DO RESULTS IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE EXCEL??

Saturday night: fellow discussion girl C sends an email after I texted her for her part that she has a major essay due Monday and is doing that instead but she will probably email me her part later at night or Sunday.

Sunday: fob guy A sends his intro to me (he has a hanmail.net account wtf??). I notice he has not answered some of the questions that are to be answered and he made no references at all and send him an email. He does not reply... luckily I had their phone numbers so I msg him and he says he will fix it when he gets home which will be over 2hrs. He sends me an email at about 11:30pm with not many changes and 2 references used in 3 spots for a 1page intro. His two references were our lab manual (for the method) and our prescribed textbook. He had done no further research on any scientific journals at all.

WTF?? THE GOOD PEOPLE OF USYD HAVE BEEN DRILLING INTO OUR MINDS AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT WE NEED TO SEARCH UP JOURNAL ARTICLES THAT TEXTBOOK ALONE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR REPORTS AND WHAT DOES HE DO???

I email him back kindly asking for maybe 1-2 more references in regards to one question "what prior work has been done in this area?"

Results girl B sends an email saying she's tried doing the graph for part B but she can't because she doesn't know how to do column graphs very well on excel... She has done legends for the graphs but I noted she used words such as "big" instead of "large/enormous" other more intelligent sounding words. She uses contractions and doesn't follow the legend guide set out in the notes. She tells me her results aren't really accurate cuz she had experimental error. I suggest we use the results I had obtained from the experiment (which I had given her a copy which she obviously didn't look at)

WHY OH WHY???

I spend 3hrs on Sunday and 1hr today doing her graphs and redoing her legend. I practically do 3/4+ of the results section....

I am quite angry at this rate so I storm out to vent on my mum and come across my sister who kept nagging me about where my newly bought laptop is (he's a beauty ;)). Me now understandably no? am at my wits end so I say very fast in a sarcastic tone "I hid it cuz mum said burglars peek at our house, they will see my laptop, they will break into our house, they will steal my laptop, I will be unhappy, I will be laptop less understand??" My dad, in the next room think that I was shouting at my sister so he gets all mad and crazy which ended in him storming out of the house.

Late at night C finally finishes her part of the discussion and I am amazed by her stuff as it is quite good after seeing the amount of bullshit so far. She apologises profusely and says she will do the rest of discussion that is about the results section when I send her the results. I offer to edit the final report and send it in on Wednesday.

I decide to upload my files into my new laptop so I can bring to uni and have something to do while I wait for kebu to finish and we can have lunch. I have lost my usb... After frantic searching and a not so helpful boyfriend telling me to "why don't you look on your desk?" (bloody first place I looked!! GRRR) I finally found it after about an hour of lunacy.

Only to find my files are incompatible with the weirdo non Microsoft Word program they have. GRRR. I had to download open office to make it all work.

Oh the fob guy in my group and I just had a "friendly" exchange of msgs as follows:
Me: did you find more sources for intro?
Him: ok... what do you mean? I've already sent u my intro last nite
Me: I sent you an email last night. could you please find 1-2 scientific journals. you didn't write about prior work in the subject.
him: Isn't the prior work means dat what we actually prepared for test??? Kinda method stuff??
Me: No it means what other experiments have been done about this subject in the past
Him: ok ill try it bt im doin other stuff i think dat i can send u by midnight.. sorry... :)

1hr 20min later.....

Him: i cnt find any prior article n even if i find one i dnt know what to write... also the one i sent u got preety much enough for intro i think...
Me: the point of research is to go beyond prescribed texts. I'll try to find something then and hopefully the references in discussion will even out lack in intro
him: i got no any offence to u sorry about my expression... as u know english is my 2nd language.... N itz really hard to do for me.... sorry

So thus this ends for now at least (C is saying she's having trouble finding stuff I do NOT want to help anyone anymore -.-)

In conclusion I hate group work.

There's my vent guys.. i feel I need to break it up with some happy picture...


Hmm Portuguese tarts from KFC..... not the ones in Australia >.>

Oh btw sorry guys for being all venty.. I pms shh.. I think I vent to EVERYONE about this already cuz I'm so pissed about it. My friend goes she's got it worse no one's replied about any section of their report and she doesn't have their numbers and they didn't reply to email. She literally has to stalk em down during our lecture tomorrow.

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After using Olay Moisturizing Cream for a few weeks I have to conclude that it does work, although not a miracle product.

At first I only applied it on the right side of my face and there was a small difference. On the left there were a few dry spots, however both sides were still smooth, though the right seemed a bit 'moist'. I'm not sure that is an entirely good thing however, makes me think it's oily. In the end I applied it on both sides and I am okay with the results. It works better than cocoa butter at least.

On this date my skin is:

• clear and normal
• fair and smoother
• dryness on upper lip

It seems like it is working, at least for the dryness on my nose which I was bothered with. It did not do much for my upper lip though, but it's better.

Unfortunately it did nothing for my wrinkles, not that I was really expecting it in the first place. All in all, I think I will keep using this moisturiser until I find something better.


I bought some concealer yesterday, Clinique Line Smoothing Concealer in 08 Medium Beige. I'm starting to become a Clinique whore instead, BYE BYE MAC!

I tried MAC one and it gives more coverage than this, but Clinique was better at hiding my wrinkles whereas MAC made them stand out more -_-

I'm also not sure about the shade. Last time I tried 04 Medium but it's very pink and even V thought it was too pink. 08 is more yellow, but there's 09 which is more golden and darker. I'm jsut not sure if maybe that shade was a better match, though the SA said it was too dark for me. I don't trust some of these SA's, most don't know jack about makeup.

I'm still iffy about the coverage, which seems to be light. I need at least medium to heavy coverage, though my stupid eyes are gonna crease it and make it look cakey. I HATE MY EYES.

Life seems difficult without being able to take photos and post it up on the blog. It feels so empty and boring here.


ANNOUNCEMENT!!

M and I are going to be on a strict diet. This time it's serious and for real (at least to her) and I'm going to follow suit. I've already finished my cheese supply and my rags are over so I have to be less lenient to what goes into my mouth. I AM ON A DIET AGAIN NAD GOING TO THE GYM MORE!

I swear! >_>

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It's always a struggle for me to fit into the standards of society, physically that is. The type of body I have is neither here nor there.

While some would say I am fat, others would say I'm being too critical of myself.

I'm not exactly a brick, but I don't qualify as an hourglass either.

So where does my fashion do's and don'ts take place? Which do I follow? It's hard carving my own experiences because I waste money buying clothes that end up being unflattering, though would look nice on one extreme or the other.

And because I am still young and can still pull off a more hip, trendy fashion statement, many of these fashion blogs do no cater to my target market and it is invariably difficult finding my niche. (Omg marketing and advertising strategy is getting to me..)

Things would be so much easier if I shed 10cm off my waist, but I jsut took out my tape measure today and I'm less than 80cm which means I'm in the healthy weight range. Last time I measured I was 79, so maybe I lost weight?!??

I don't know what to wear now. It is true that I am more closer to hourglass than brick, but I don't want to wear wrap tops or dresses; I am too young to wear such clothes, only women 25+ will look their age wearing them. This struggle with my weight is extremely hard when I don't fit into the norms of society, I don't belong anywhere. Everywhere I go I am still a niche, unique and different. And I'm not even going to go into the fact that I'm a socialist (huzzah, capitalist democracy), realist and don't believe in unconditional love, complete freedom of speech or communism.

But Serena, you say, I thought you loved being different and unique, I thought you thrive from standing out and being non-conformist?

Sure, if I had ever enjoyed being alienated for nearly all of my life. Rejected from the 'norm', the 'standard', as I always was as long as I had conscious memory.

Sometimes I wish my name was Jennifer, living in The Hills and attending TAFE. Where issues like this is not an issue at all, and my only worry in life was doing my homework.





And then I look back and scoff at the conventional lives of fools around me.


Do I hate myself?

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Just took a bath with some Lush products. Used a Youki-Hi bath bomb (for the scent) with a piece of Amandopondo Bubble Bar (for bubbles).

I smell like jasmine and rose.

It feels excellent.

Totally worth my $8.50 + $7.95.



I am a new Lush fan.

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Seasons come and go. Last year becomes a memory, and this year will become a memory.
The beautiful things you remember doing a short while back will fade into a fantasy-like epoch. Vague struggles with the threads of fate that make you hold your course - or change it.
The little joys you once had become magnified with the passing of time. Memories only become beautiful when they become a memory. Happiness is only enjoyable when the time of happiness has passed.
The calm moments when you sit with the dying sunlight streaming in through veiled windows. The soft sighs of the fresh Autumn breeze in your hair. The enjoyable music of that time. The scent of freshly fallen leaves. The guilty reveling in nostalgia. It's ironic. Because now I'm reminiscing about when I was reminiscing.

I wonder if I will look back upon today and think: Today was a good day.

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Life works funny.

People you need just suddenly seem so unaccessible and busy that you feel guilty for disturbing them.

People you first think of and turn to when something big happens. And they're just not there. So you turn to the most accessible and free and update them on life in a casual, light tone that never quite reaches the severity burning in your eyes and the nightmare that entails.

Life is often ironic.

When your heart and mind are aching from relationship, but the one you love is overseas and can't be there to share your tears and screams. And so you turn to a substitute, who is happy to help.

And you drink yourself silly.

And lock yourself in a room with tissues and alcohol.

When your family is in disarray and the denial that occurs is too much to bear with the background noise of domestic violence. The one you love can't help, because their family is also dysfunctional and suffering.

You wonder, what's the point?

When he is the cause for pain, and nobody understands it because you can't tell anyone anything, yet you want them to just get it. But you can't turn to him either, so you lose two birds with the one stone and they lie on the grass dead and broken.

It's been two hours and my grandma is lost, late and alone in China. Thought you guys should know one way or another.

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My idea of speaking the language of the bf:

Boy: do you wax?
Me: Nah cbb, seems complicated, tried once with freebies. Pain to use, got wax everywhere. I am noob XD
Boy: wow. You are using the word noob =P!
Me: so?
Boy: seems new for you
Me: Doesn't it make me seem so much more attractive to your nerdy self? =P
Boy: of course XD. Now what does mmorpg stand for?
Me: (secretly googles) um um.. massive multiplayer online role playing game
Me: muahaha i rule!
Boy: congratz
Me: Aren't I so awesomely cool?
Boy: extremely

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So today I bought a jar of Olay Moisturizing Cream, Sensitive Skin and I'm going to document my findings on the blog as part of my regime to find and try products and review them. This is the thicker cream, not the lotion most people are thinking. The sensitive version isn't pink either, and it's fragrance free which made me sad because I love the smell and pink colour!




On this date, my skin is currently:

• clear and normal
  
• fair
  
• smooth
  
• slight dryness on the nose, eye area and upper lip
  
• very slight dryness on the insides of cheeks
  
• crow's feet developing
  
• wrinkles underneath eyes
  
• very dark undereye circles
  
• developing an allergic reaction to something that is making my lips swell up, but this is only temporary and antihistamines will take care of it

I shall see the effects of the Olay and if it helps with moisturising those dry parts, and gets extra brownie points if it can make my wrinkles disappear.

The first thing I am discussing is my skincare regime.

I do not cleanse nor do I need to unless I am wearing full makeup that day and my face feels 'clogged', in which I will use a bit of The Body Shop Aloe Calming Facial Cleanser for Sensitive Skin. Don't ask me why I have so many sensitive skin stuff, I franky have no idea if I am or not ut don't feel like takig a financial risk. I'll try the original Olay lotion some other time.




The toner does jack, but I like to believe it makes the greasy feeling of the cleanser go away by getting rid of excess. Still, instead of paying $20 for the toner I can just keep rinsing my face until it's gone.




My face is pretty low maintenance. I just wash it with a wash cloth or sponge in the morning with cold water, even in Winter. I follow up with a tiny blob of Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula or some generic sorbolene lotion (depends on what I'm feeling that day). Palmer's feels thicker, so I use it on dryer days. Seriously speaking though, I think sorbolene works better and you get more bang for your buck.

When I am being good and use sunscreen on my face, I will put on Olay Complete Defense UV Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30+ but I don't do this very often. I know, it's bad, but I just don't like the feeling sunscreen leaves on my hands. Sorbolene and cocoa butter seems more edible because I put moisturiser on before breakfast.


The new packaging for it is prettier.


For my lips, I use Vaseline at home and whe I'm out I use the quintessential Sydneysider lipbalm: Lucas' Papaw Ointment. Out of the two, I like Lucas' better because it's not as 'slimy' and I prefer the texture of it on my lips. It also smells lovely, and I would rather 'accidentally' eat this than Vaseline. This is why I use Vaseline at night where eating lipbalm isn't a problem. It is the best lipbalm/all-rounder that works just as well as Vaseline.




Next thing I also use, and I would recommend this as well, is generic sweet almond oil that you can pick up from a pharmacy. It'll be around $10 for a small 25ml bottle or so, but it's a really good moisturiser. I used to put this in my homemade moisturiser, but now I just use it to condition the area around my eyes. It's oily so there is less friction when you apply it, which is great for that delicate area there.

I can't say it's doing much for my dark circles or wrinkles though, but it feels so nice. I might repurchase it again when I'm out, but this bottle is going to last me quite a while. If you're tight on money, you can forget this step. I am still looking for a good eye cream, if somebody would like to suggest one? I am thinking of getting La Mer The Eye Concentrate or YSL Temps Majeur Eye Cream despite it being $200+ =s!!


Yes or no?


Hopefully I will find some Holy Grail (HG) products that will forever be my signature. The only HG I have right now is the papaw ointment.

I'm also looking at a few mascaras and I currently love Covergirl VolumeExact or LashExact because it gives SO MUCH LENGTH OMG. My lashes are sooooo incredibly long but there just isn't enough volume there. On the other hand, I tried out Maybelline Full N' Soft, which is famous for giving soft, nourished lashes. Lengthening wise it's not as great as CG but it gives slightly more volume. I will try them both out one after another and see if they produce better results.

Another thing I will mention is my blush, Clinique Blushing Blush in Precious Posy. I heard it was a good dupe of the much-loved Nars Orgasm blush. It is a fabulous colour that you can build up to be a pretty deep, flirty pink blush or swipe a few times (be careful with the brush it comes with because it puts heaps of product on your cheeks) and it looks perfect. Sometime I do have problems with the gold glitter, so I'll probably need to look for a matte finish blush for those days.




Until next time, ladies and gents.

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My camera is gone too.

And counting.

Everything else was fine, but touch my camera?

Fuck you.

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